RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
