We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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