I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
