he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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