Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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