Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
