She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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