New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
