He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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