It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
