I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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