I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
