he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
