How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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