Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
