The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
