Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
