the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
its liver damage thursday
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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