found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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