sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
