So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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