Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
