I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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