he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize