I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
