I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
