At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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