How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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