Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
