I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
