i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everclear isn't food dammit
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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