I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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