I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
