So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
