I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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