she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
