I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
