this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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