it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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