Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
