Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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