halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am one with the molecules
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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