I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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