He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am available for nakedness
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
