so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
