Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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