Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
