Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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