His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
