note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
