yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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