I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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