Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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