If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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