this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
