Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
