on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
