Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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