i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
