OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
