Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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