I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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