Pappa wants mamma naked
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
