Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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