We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
