i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
