K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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