just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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