so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
